I'm in my town's biggest florist on the top floor of the indoor shopping Mall. (Sadly the shop is no longer there).
Just walking around, looking at all the amazing flowers. I've choosen my Rose and Snowflakes (Gypsophilia). Next I need a bunch of the most stunning flowers. I pick a stem from all the ones that catch my eye. Nothing matches (my Nan is a florist, she would laugh at my choice). This is how I'm going to remember my sister. Colourful, unique, and very Bright.
Some of the neighbourhood kids have gone around our block of homes and tidied all the gardens, weeded and sweeped. I found out that one of the Mother's had asked the kids to do it for Michelle but really she had wanted to keep them busy, keep their minds busy. It was such a lovely thing to have been done.
I've never liked tights or stockings and now I HAVE to wear some. Well I've put a hole in the only pair of tights Mum had for me, looks like its stockings. Urgh! And Black! Why Black??
We have a neighbour in our house. She is staying behind to prep food and make tea.
I've never seen so many people in one place. Our local crematorium can hold about 100, they are all standing to the sides on the footpaths, in the gardens, everywhere.
As I walk in the only person i seem to notice is my Brother-in-Law A. His a very tall guy, but today, he seems so small. Hunched over, eyes down, drawn, broken.
Alot of Michelle's school friends are here. The most important ones i later find out, were told not to attend. That saddens me. All of her male friends stayed away. Classmates, laughing buddies, trouble-makers ;-) but I know that they would have been there in spirit.
I hear MJ as I'm walking down. Then I realise, I've forgotten my Rose. It was for the top of the coffin. Its been left on the side in a vase.
The Reverend that we got out of retirement reminisces about the times she saw us in Brownies and Guides. She is so well known in the community. She seems to make it a bit easier. Personal.
I'm glad the ceremony is finally over, the curtains closing put the final confirmation that its done, its real, there is no coming back. I am alone. A single Twin!
Outside are some of her friends, Two of them come up to me and I so clearly recall S saying 'Look after you' and I just reply 'I will. You cant get rid of me that easily'!?!?!
Home to a house of family, friends and so many memories.