I no longer feel like i fit in. I've had an epiphany. I'm going to go work in Canada as a youth Tri coach.
Maybe if i get away it will get better. Maybe i will finally find myself.
At least in Canada no-one knows me. I can be me.
I choose to celebrate a birthday with a small group of my Lifeguarding friends that I meet pretty much the first month i landed. They knew a bit of my story, they didnt make too big of a deal. Just a nice pot luck and a cake. Still pangs of sadness hang over me knowing that I will never get to celebrate with my Sister physically by my side.
I miss home alot being in Canada. I've moved here alone, but for Miss kitty (Tippex), she is my companion, the only link that i have to my UK home.
Im thankful for Skype and FB. I get to keep in contact with all those friends back in my hometown.
One in particular has taken it upon himself to remember Michelle for who she was... an amazing, funny, loving friend. When I found out about this, I must admit I did cry. But more so for the fact that even after so many years, there were still people that thought of her in a big way. I even showed both my parents and sisters. How can you be unhappy when you know that your Sister had such an impact on so many?
Without any nudging from anyone, he has built her a FB page.
Why? I'll let him tell you why.
A few years ago i started a memorial page for Michelle,
Not because to create some sort of Facebook shrine, But to celebrate the life of a bubbly, lively joker. In alot of way's how people see myself.
As Children, its all to easy to not look underneath, and why people do what they do.
Hopefully sharing memories of Michelle throughout her time at EP, May in some way allow everyone to establish that really she was richer in friends then perhaps she ever knew.
I hope by bringing people together in one small area of the internet both Trudy, her family, and friends can find some comfort that even with their Tragic loss, that really in her short life, she HAD found enormous happiness and love for her life, after all why would somebody laugh and giggle as much as she did??
I was Lucky Enough to be in Tutor Group B throughout EP, Im sure the likes of Mr A and Mr S should they cast their minds back remember Michelle in some shape or form, probably alot like me in the sense she was larger then life. She had much to give and in her short life she gave it, normally to the point where her cheeky-ness would make us giggle. I Personally was shocked when Michelle left us, but i still have clear memories of her all these years later which must be a testament to her character.
Know that we are privileged to be here, but the privilege is to have known the ones who are now gone, If life had put a time limit on our time with Michelle, it's obvious she was too Gentle for this life, The good may die young, But the memories will stay till we are all old and grey.
Much love to Trudy and Family
And Across the Skies Michelle xx