Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Day 15

 The hoopla has died down. The newspapers sensationalized the event as much as they could. Not a chance. Mother had the legal department of the company that she was working at, draft up a statement. Yeah! Arseholes, try making this into something more then what it actually is.
I never understood why famous people hated the paparazzi, at Michelle's inquest I got a first hand glimpse of how people just doing 'their job' can turn from a human into a vulture just to get the next best thing happening.  Well NO-ONE gets to diss my sister.

Its been a few months, I'm going through the motions at school, I actually have no idea what im learning at this moment, I'm just attending classes.
The teachers are treating me differently. I've vented at one in particular (really wanted to punch his lights out, make him feel all the pain that his inflicted on my family and I).  No detention.
They don't even know what to do!

At times it all gets to be too much and I just leave classes.
The library is my safe haven, my place to still feel her around. This was our 'secret' playground.
 Its calm and peaceful.

I have one thing though that is keeping me sane. FRIENDS!  and lots of them.
They are there for me, even when I don't know that I need them.

A poor 2nd year student got the brunt of my friend L for saying something out of place. I'm glad she got to him before I did. At this moment in time, I'll fight anyone. I really don't care.

Will this get any better?
I feel like I'm already forgetting how she sounded?
What she was like.
I play back all the times that i was horrid to her. Could I have been nicer?  Could I have been THAT sister that was the protector more?
Was she happy having me as her sister?

Guess I'll wait till i see her again to ask........


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