Saturday, 18 July 2015

Day 18

In the UK, you celebrate birthday ages of 13 (teenager status), 16 (legal for some things), 18 (supposedly and adult and legal for way more), 21 (Now your on your own!).

Its my 16th in a few weeks.  I'm going to make Michelle a birthday card. Handmade is so much better.
I'm sat in my homeroom at school, free period. Supposedly we are to study/do homework in those 'spare' lessons, but no-one ever does.

I've decided to copy an outline of Michael Jackson feet free hand.  I love drawing. I want to take my time over this, make it really nice.
All of a sudden someone has swipped the card away from my hands and is waving it about the air. I don't know who this student is. All they are doing though is making fun of me making a card for my Sister who happens to be dead!
I'm getting upset, all I want is the card back and to be left alone. I wasn't making any trouble, they wont give it back.
From the other room and the room that I'm in, my friends S + P go after the kid. Give him hell and get my card back.
It's alittle too late, I'm crying and just trying to make people understand that I want to be alone, make my card. Is that too hard to comprehend.  She may not be here, but she still deserves a 16th Birthday card. Its an important Birthday.

My Sister and Dad are holding a small Birthday tea for me. She has made my favourite meal, bought a cake, got me some sparkly wine and bought an amazing Gold heart shaped ring for me. I'm being spoilt, I know I am.  So why aren't I truly smiling. Its a fake smile. The excitement of opening gifts is not there. I don't want to be here.

Its getting too much to pretend. As she lights the candles on the cake, I explode at all of them.
'I dont't want to celebrate my birthday's anymore. Its not the same.'

I know that I've hurt my sisters feelings and most of all my Dad's, but I don't have it in me to celebrate anymore. It doesn't seem fair or right. There were two people born on this day. We should both be here to celebrate.

I don't want any more Birthday's!


1 comment:

  1. You deserve to celebrate your birthdays,and Michelle with her cheeky and uplifting life would want you to and so would great aunt sis and Nan as they have always looked out for you